I recently got an email from someone who was visiting our website. He wanted to know how to approach his wife around the topic of oral sex. He asked me if it was out of line to bring up this conversation and he wanted some advice.
I didn’t know him or know his wife and any issues they might have so I gave him pretty straightforward advice. I sent him a link to the video that is on this page. It is a talk that my wife and I gave at a marriage conference about sex.
I said, "Just ask your wife to watch this with you. Hopefully, she agrees to look at it. From there, have a conversation about sex. Sex should not be a topic that is off limits in your marriage. After the video, if your conversation goes well with her, then I would challenge you to take some time and go through the whole video e-course that we offer called: Best Sex Life Now. It dives into a lot more topics and areas that you guys might need to talk through."
He took my advice and sent me this email!
I just wanted to follow up and let you know that we went through the video series.
I had told her that I reached out to you and that you had sent me something that might help. She said she would be willing to watch. So we took the rest of the night and went through all of the videos. It was difficult at first but after a while, seeing the enthusiasm of you guys, and how comfortable it was for all of you to talk through the details.
The long and short of it is that 2 days after watching the video series, we were driving downtown to meet with some friends and on the way, I brought up the videos, and what I pulled from them. Told her that it actually created empathy for me, and put into words some of the things I was afraid to say to her. Told her all of the different things that I've fantasized about her in detail. Making sure to inject some minor humor and lightheartedness while staying truthful and making sure that her comfort was still my top priority.
I feel like I got everything off of my chest during that conversation and after a few more days we had another talk started by her. She told me that she had been processing everything I had told her. She said that our marriage is definitely growing stronger and that our sex life is as well. She would be open to trying new positions and things of that. But for now, the topic of oral sex is too different for her, too new and too foreign. To give her time and patience. Which I was relieved to hear.
I just have to say thank you for all that you guys do, and I'm grateful that I was able to reach out to you and have that outlet of counsel and advice.
So, the same thing applies to you that are reading this.
Watch the video and then see if you guys can take it a step further and check out the whole Best Sex Life Now course.
The course will dive into answering these questions and so much more.
- How often should we be having sex?
- How can we use sex to build our intimacy?
- Are there biblical restrictions on what we can do in the bedroom?
- What about physical or health restrictions?
- What if one of us is uncomfortable with something the other one wants to try/do?
- What about stuff like sexy lingerie, sex toys, and sexting – is that okay?
- How can we add spontaneity to keep sex fun?
- What if sex isn’t as good for me as it with other partners I had before my spouse?
- Why won’t my spouse have sex with me?
- My spouse had an affair, and though I’ve forgiven them, I’m having trouble responding to them sexually. What do I do?
- How do I get over my past?
- We are getting married – what are some realistic expectations for sex?